It’s Monkey Vortex Monday. In today’s installment, Croatian malcontent Rodney K. puts our longstanding feud aside for one minute and 45 seconds — just barely enough time to bust it Poet-Makes-a-House-Call style with: Welcome to the City of Wetumpka — another all-new, all-free, all-MP3 MVRT experience, brought to you by the good people at BackMan. BackMan: equipping the backs of our Presidents with noticeable, rectangular objects for more than thirty years.
Cecil Vortex
x-post: pre-debate shpiel
Reality catches up with the President. Get the skizoop, here.
x-post: door to door volunteering in the presidential campaign
In the next two weeks I’ll be making the (fairly freaky styling) leap to door-to-door political volunteering in my hometown and in a battleground state. If you’ve the itch your own self, and you’re curious how to look into that sort of thing, take a stroll over to edgewise, and read all about it.
Doorway conversation
Talking with her about her brother's death years back now. And it's the first time we talked. She just had a kid first kid last month my son's almost four good guy big boy.
Their house looks the same even the table even the carpet and I tell her that. The house even smells the same. But you can't say the house smells the same. Or ask if the sofa's still covered in plastic.
I think of him often. I tell her that instead. I tell her he meant a lot to me, which is true. She says thanks. And then I use the word "maudlin." I say: "Sorry to be maudlin." But it's the wrong word. And that's what sticks with me later. It's not maudlin.
Her brother's dead.
x-post: And the Shonny and the Wally and the sequence of it all
If it’s Monday, it must be Monkey Vortex Radio Theater — back with an all-new segment: The Sequence of Things. With script and music by yers truly and starring Bee Nisbet and M “‘n M” Smith. Plus: the MVRT debut of featured backup vocalist Shonny Vortex!
And there’s funk too. Oh yes, there’s funk.
x-post: Debateshpiel
Some pithy debate shpiel, here. Quite literally. Packed with pith.
x-post: And speaking of outrage…
Whatever you do, don’t read this. It’s…it’s horrible.
Ah, yes. Here’s the outrage.
you: I have to put the cat to sleep.
me: why?
you: he’s leaving the dentist’s poop all over the house.
me: how does he get the dentist’s poop?
you: I give it to him.
she: why?
me: yeah, why?
you: because he’s bored. he needs something to play with.
she: but how do you know it’s the dentist’s poop?
you: I am the dentist.
Where’s the outrage?
Am I the only one
freaked out by all
these blind people?
Taking our jobs — ?
our women — ?
our German Sheperds?
Burble
Tonight in his sleep, Sam said:
“He wants a chocolate Gogurt
and to fight bad guys.”
He said it a couple of times.
Always like that — in the third-person.
And then he fell back asleep.
And I say:
Congratulations!
Enemies of evil!
Congratulations!
Gogurt people!
International chocolate conspiracy!
You own part of my child’s brain.