Burble

Tonight in his sleep, Sam said: “He wants a chocolate Gogurt and to fight bad guys.” He said it a couple of times. Always like that — in the third-person. And then he fell back asleep. And I say: Congratulations! Enemies of evil! Congratulations! Gogurt people! International chocolate conspiracy! You own part of my child’s … Read more

Party time

He wasn’t very smart, or very rich, or very successful. But he was six-foot-three. And at parties, he would slide up silent behind his smarter, richer, more successful, better-looking friends. Head to head. Back to back. And hang out for a while.

Today’s big movie idea:

A post-apocalyptic romantic comedy. You know, like, it’s the big first date and he’s all wigged out because he doesn’t know if the girl’s a girl or if she’s a flesh-eating zombie. Starring Mathew Broderick. And introducing: a flesh-eating zombie.

Dropping off my daughter on the first day of school

The hallways smell like paper and scissors and elmer’s glue and parents roaming around inspecting the tile quietly comparing notes amid sneaker skid boom. This is America. We come here from different countries, from different cultures. We speak different languages. But there are two words we all understand. And those words are: “multipurpose room.”