This; And also that

Boy am I glad that
trout don’t eat cats.
Because if they did
we’d have to use kittens for bait.
And, well,
yuck.

Mosquitoes avoid the sunlight.
Likewise, vampires avoid the sunlight.
Think about that.
It would be eerie almost
except for the fact that
vampires aren’t real.
And I’m not 100% certain that
mosquitoes avoid the sunlight.

fried.
wiped.
but.
saw.
pelican.

Alameda’s own Red Hills Review was nice enough to recently publish a few of my poems in their issue #2. But wait: the editor of this journal has seemingly inexhaustible lit-related energy and will be putting on a few RHR-related … Read on Macduff...

I knew you
when you didn’t
have a card with
Abe Vigoda’s signature on it.
And I was nice to you then.
So just you remember that.

“When the Fish People come,” the General said, “you’ll want to have ice nearby. Lots of it. In this heat, the Fish People can overpower you like that!” He snapped his fingers.
Suzie scribbled a quick note in her … Read on Macduff...

She’s a stay-at-home mom pulled back into the biz by circumstance.
“Who stole the binkie?”
“I’ll tell you who stole the binkie.”
“He stole the binkie!”

My four-year old daughter:
I thought it was under the couch and
I also tried to look for it everywhere, but
I was having so much fun that
I couldn’t find it.
So it was very sad that you lost … Read on Macduff...

Not so long ago, I was just like you —
sitting around, waiting for the scientists
to discover cheap and safe nuclear fusion.
So they could take us off to Mars.
In ships the size of Delaware.
Now all I … Read on Macduff...