This; And also that

I had a dream last night that I was applying to be a referee in the the local “ring around the rosie” league. But they rejected my application because I was just too big. They were afraid I’d frighten the kids on “all fall down.”
I mean, that’s not fair, is it? That I should have such a dream?

I voted today on plain old paper. No computers for Alameda County this time around. And I dug it. It was great, voting on paper. Some things are just better the old-fashioned way. Am I right?
For example, ice cream. I for one liked it better when ice cream was made by cows instead of by robots.
When the cows made ice cream, their hooves would go “puck puck puck.” But when the robots make the ice cream, it’s always “clang clang clang.”
And I’m like: “shut up robots!”
On a somewhat related note, I voted for Angelides. Because I’m pretty sure Steve Westly is a friggin’ robot.

I saw Nipsey on the streets of NY once, sometime in the mid-80s.
I shouted, “Hey — it’s Nipsey Russell!”
And he looked over at me,
and for the first time I think in his whole life, Nipsey stopped smiling.
It was like I could hear the planet itself
slow to a loud, crunching halt, its rotation full-stopped
by the sour expression on the face of this game-show icon.
The air puckered.
And then some super villain — I forget which, maybe Electro?
dropped down in front of me, picked up a car, and tossed it over my head.
OK, maybe it wasn’t Electro then. He isn’t that strong.
The Rhino?
Anyways, he tucked Nipsey under his arm
like a smallish bale of hay
and he was gone.
Sometime later the world started turning again.
But I never forgot that day.
And I’m pretty sure neither did Nipsey Russell.

Can you play a nun?
Can you play a nun’s hand?
Can you play
a quirky nun’s hand
so filled with life and laughter and the real stuff,
it can’t help but make us smile?
“Say — who was that?
Who just pinched me?
I didn’t expect to be pinched like that,
much less by a nun’s hand.”
Oh that Robin Williams.

you shouldn’t eat
so much of any one thing
that if they found out
that a really really
huge amount
of that one thing
kills people
you’d stop and say:
oh jeez

The “Patrick Swayze/North and South” web page is terrible. There are lots of good web pages out there, covering a wide variety of topics. So there’s really no need for you to visit the “Patrick Swayze/North and South” web page.
Here’s just one of the many terrible things about this web page. It says, and I quote: “In my opinion, ‘Orry Main’ will always be the character most closely associated with Patrick.” Now that’s just ridiculous. I can’t even begin to tell you how ridiculous a statement that is, on so many levels.
Won’t you join me in boycotting this terrible web page?
Thank you,
-Cecil

Am I the only one a bit put off by the panda craze that’s been sweeping the nation, what with everyone and their brother buying panda bears and then bringing them with them *everywhere*?
I mean, come on! I’m not saying pandas aren’t cute. I’m just saying, there’s a time and there’s a place. And when I go to the men’s room at a baseball game, the last thing I want to see is some rube in an “I heart pandas!” baby-t, hosing down his cotton-candy covered new-best-friend and looking at me like *I’m* the crazy one.
Puhlease!

Wallace Shawn is Daffy Duck. (At least In The Princess Bride.)
“Inconceivable!”
-Cecil