This; And also that

Some people, like Hillary Clinton and my 7-year-old son, have been hammering home this “Don’t Mess with Texas” message. In the case of Hillary, it’s one of her slogans for the March 4th primary. With my son, it’s on this t-shirt he likes to wear.
And I’m sorry, but I enjoy messing with Texas. I do. And I don’t care what Hillary or Power Vortex say — I don’t intend to stop.
For example, sometimes I move Texas’ seat a few inches away from where they think it is. Not so much that they fall. But just enough so they go “Whoa!” and they have to readjust themselves. And they’re looking around, thinking, “Who did that? Who’s messing with me?”
Or I tell Oklahoma that Texas said something mean about them, when really they didn’t.
Or if Texas is shooting pool, I walk up quietly behind them and tug on their pool cue right as they’re lining up their shot. They hate that!
Got any ways you like to mess with Tee Ex?
Update: Reader James in the comments gently points out that those McSweeney bastards got to this watering hole first. I guess it’s true what they say about an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters taking it to Texas in similar fashion, where time is expressed as T and “ways Texas can be messed with” is expressed as M or perhaps (M Over Tx).
Update to update: After a little reflection, I’ve decided that this is a sign I should redirect my energies. Instead of “messing with Texas,” I’m now going to “screw with Delaware.”

Hi,
This one’s narrowcast to my fellow Bay Areans. Just wanted to share the fun fact that my daughter (aka Shonny Vortex) is making her big-time stage debut this very weekend in Virago Theatre Company’s staging of Candide, with music by Leonard “don’t call me Spock” Bernstein and lyrics by (among others) Dorothy Parker, Lillian Hellman, and Stephen “don’t call me Spock either” Sondheim.
This is an actual grown up performance. The New York Times described Bernstein’s score as “shimmering” and claims that Shonny’s performance is likely to be “the greatest stage appearance of the new century.” I think they’re overhyping it, but who’s gonna argue with the New York Times?
Special Twofer Deal
The show opens this coming Friday, and they’re offering a crazy two-for-one deal on advance tix for the first weekend — two tickets for the low price of just $20. You can secure that snazzy deal by calling 510-865-6237 or by dropping me an email….
Days and Times: Friday February 22nd, 8pm, Sat February 23rd, 8pm, Sunday February 24th, 7pm.
The show runs from Feb 22 through to March 9th. For more information: click away.
-Cecil

A while back, my better half worked on a full-length independent science fiction feature called “Homeworld.” Well the movie’s now done and ready for it’s world premiere — this coming Sunday, January 13th. The tickets are free, and the theater is pretty huge, so we’re encouraging one and all to come and join us for the event. I’ll be the one who looks like the picture over on the right, only without the goatee and with both a top and a bottom part to my head.
Here’s all the info:
When: January 13th, 2008 @ 5PM
Where: Rheem Theater 350 Park St., Moraga, CA 94556
Admission: Free
Rating: Not rated yet, but think “PG.” Kids are welcome.
More info, including directions: Homeworld Site

Hope to see ya there!