Looking into your warehouse it’s clear that
someone’s really good at stacking boxes.
I know they use machines
but it’s still a skill
to form
a lattice like that
three stories high
to hold against
the pull top boxes feel
their natural urge to tumble
and tip
to splay and splash
to show the floor their glory.
to hold against
the pull top boxes feel
their natural urge to tumble
This part confuses me — where is the break?
to hold against the pull//top boxes feel their…
OR
to hold against//
the pull(-)top boxes feel their natural urge…
is pull-top a compound? are the boxes feeling the pull or the urge? Grammar = sticky wicket, and yet w/o it, meaning is obscured.
this part tripped me over and over. I see the rest very clearly, I feel the awe, the man vs machine, the intricacies of industry, etc. But the wording in those 2-3 lines is a possum-trap and my leg’s caught. Must…chew…way..out…
lb: interesting — no intentional confusion there. it’s sposed to read as as the pull (that) boxes up top feel…their natural urge, etc etc.
will ponder….
-Cecil…
I feel like something of the flow ‘breaks’ a bit for me when I reach this:
“to hold against
the pull top boxes feel”
but I’m not sure what to offer beyond that. I think my favorite aspect of this poem is that it comments on something seemingly ordinary, something that we all wonder about when walking through a warehouse but who ever says it?
-jade
This is it.
This is the one, for me.
Expressed precisely,
concisely.
Near perfection.
I tumble down
at your feet.
Submit it!
and for your box-stacking pleasure….
http://www.tcpulse.com/2006/04/20/ac/printingtothesky/
great link e — definitely worth the click through. if you like boxes.
-Cecil
to hold against
the pull top boxes feel
their natural urge to tumble
This part confuses me — where is the break?
to hold against the pull//top boxes feel their…
OR
to hold against//
the pull(-)top boxes feel their natural urge…
is pull-top a compound? are the boxes feeling the pull or the urge? Grammar = sticky wicket, and yet w/o it, meaning is obscured.
this part tripped me over and over. I see the rest very clearly, I feel the awe, the man vs machine, the intricacies of industry, etc. But the wording in those 2-3 lines is a possum-trap and my leg’s caught. Must…chew…way..out…
lb: interesting — no intentional confusion there. it’s sposed to read as as the pull (that) boxes up top feel…their natural urge, etc etc.
will ponder….
-Cecil…
Yes, yes. I actually like this no-holds-barred image of tumbling, tumbling down, no stopping, no breaks, nothing to break the momentum of the … ahh…!
I feel like something of the flow ‘breaks’ a bit for me when I reach this:
“to hold against
the pull top boxes feel”
but I’m not sure what to offer beyond that. I think my favorite aspect of this poem is that it comments on something seemingly ordinary, something that we all wonder about when walking through a warehouse but who ever says it?
-jade