Yes.
Yes I am on a cell phone.
You’re right about that.
And I’m driving. Yes I am. I’m driving at the same time.
I’m on a cell phone right now. And I’m driving. Yes. At the same time. Yes.
And screw you too.
Hey, I came here looking for exotic bird parks in Utah. Now I gotta put up with some guy on a cell phone? While *driving*? Better not be an SUV buddy. Or wait–I bet it’s some kind of convertible. Well, I liked the repeating Yesses so I guess it’s not a total loss. Off to the cockatoos of Utah …
Funny, I half had the end of Ulysses in mind when I wrote that bit last night — “and yes I said yes I will Yes” — not that I’m some Joycean scholar — I barely survived Ulysses in school, but that line always stayed with me, with its magic affirmative rhythm. And I didn’t realize till just 2 minutes ago that I posted it…on Bloomsday. Yes.
this just in…DC Law Banning Use of Cell Phones WITHOUT Handsfree Device While Driving – Effective July 1, 2004. true, hurray. finally i can drive in d.c. and hold what i’m supposed to in my hands.
safety pup says, “so, while driving, take your palm sweaty cell phone and shove it right up your friggin’ hands-free device. and, you know what i mean when i say hands-free. wink wink.”
“His heart was one of those which most enamour us,—
Wax to receive, and marble to retain.”
—George Gordon Noel Byron, Lord Byron (1788–1824), Beppo. Stanza 34.
“The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.”
—Sir William Preece, chief engineer of the British Post Office, 1876
…and you know what he meant when he said messenger boys. wink wink.
“I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.”
—Garry Shandling (1949 – )
You really are kind of going out on a limb here, Cecil. I mean, if it weren’t for the title, we could infer that you are not speaking in propria persona but impersonating a cell-phone jerk. (I was going to use a more recent idiom but thought better of it.) Your readers who lecture you about traffic safety have a point. If I wanted to guilt-trip you, I’d remind you of your neighbors with kids the same age as yours, or your neighbors the same age as your parents.
Of course, we all know that a poem exists at some literary remove from whatever it talks about; and it in some sense it *s different to say in a poem that you’re a dangerously inattentive driver than to say that in straightforward exposition. But still, …
Hey, I came here looking for exotic bird parks in Utah. Now I gotta put up with some guy on a cell phone? While *driving*? Better not be an SUV buddy. Or wait–I bet it’s some kind of convertible. Well, I liked the repeating Yesses so I guess it’s not a total loss. Off to the cockatoos of Utah …
Funny, I half had the end of Ulysses in mind when I wrote that bit last night — “and yes I said yes I will Yes” — not that I’m some Joycean scholar — I barely survived Ulysses in school, but that line always stayed with me, with its magic affirmative rhythm. And I didn’t realize till just 2 minutes ago that I posted it…on Bloomsday. Yes.
this just in…DC Law Banning Use of Cell Phones WITHOUT Handsfree Device While Driving – Effective July 1, 2004. true, hurray. finally i can drive in d.c. and hold what i’m supposed to in my hands.
safety pup says, “so, while driving, take your palm sweaty cell phone and shove it right up your friggin’ hands-free device. and, you know what i mean when i say hands-free. wink wink.”
“His heart was one of those which most enamour us,—
Wax to receive, and marble to retain.”
—George Gordon Noel Byron, Lord Byron (1788–1824), Beppo. Stanza 34.
“The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.”
—Sir William Preece, chief engineer of the British Post Office, 1876
…and you know what he meant when he said messenger boys. wink wink.
“I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.”
—Garry Shandling (1949 – )
You really are kind of going out on a limb here, Cecil. I mean, if it weren’t for the title, we could infer that you are not speaking in propria persona but impersonating a cell-phone jerk. (I was going to use a more recent idiom but thought better of it.) Your readers who lecture you about traffic safety have a point. If I wanted to guilt-trip you, I’d remind you of your neighbors with kids the same age as yours, or your neighbors the same age as your parents.
Of course, we all know that a poem exists at some literary remove from whatever it talks about; and it in some sense it *s different to say in a poem that you’re a dangerously inattentive driver than to say that in straightforward exposition. But still, …
well you know what they say about those show business kids making movies of themselves
HEY! JUST GET OFF THE CELL PHONE FOR CHRISTS SAKE!