This; And also that

We’ve all used the old “behind you!” trick to get someone to turn around. Was a time, that was a real effective hustle. The mark turns, you pocket his change. Done and done. But word spreads. Stuff gets incorporated into … Read on Macduff...

I’ve been working on a sitcom script for the last little bit and that’s meant wrestling a lot with dialog. I know good dialog starts with being a good listener, and I’ve been trying to get out a little more … Read on Macduff...

It’s comforting to know we still have fire fighters amongst us — people dedicated to finding fires and then fighting them. Fire needs to be fought.
There are other primal forces that need to be fought, of course. I’d like … Read on Macduff...

you’ll ever get from your six-year-old
is the one that comes
after you’ve taken him and a friend of his trick or treating
two skipping ninjas out in the dark
going as long and as far as they want
extracting … Read on Macduff...

I’m 39 and convinced that I’m middle aged.
Which is fine by me. In fact, I like it. It’s kind of like I’m floating around in the middle of a lake in an inflatable tube. There’s lots of water on … Read on Macduff...

If I had a coffeehouse, this would be my motto:
“A frightened clientele is an obedient clientele.”
Or perhaps:
“A nervous clientele is a loyal clientele.”
I’d spray my customers with hormones as they
walked through the door.
To mark … Read on Macduff...

Crickly crack.
Warm mice
pop spin slice.
Crickle.
Are
eating
my crickly.
Eating my
crickly
music.
music.
music.

My 6-year-old son’s having a playdate right now. There are clinking noises and murmurs coming through the open door to his room. And then I hear my son say this: “I’ll trade you a Jewish Bible.” A what?!
You heard … Read on Macduff...

Buying sushi tonight, the bill comes to $19.80, and the nice guy at the register laughs “1980! — that was a good year!”
“Yeah!” I sez. “Yeah.” And I hand him my credit card.
“You had hair down to your … Read on Macduff...