This; And also that

If I end up founding my own university (“Cecil Vortex University” — or perhaps “the University of Cecil Vortex”) the CVU/UCV hymnal will include the following words: “roar” “kindled” “e’er” “hail” “gibbous”

“I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing with me.”

The downright deviant number of flip-flops we have in my house. We have, like, fourteen pairs of flip-flops in my house. And I don’t wear flip-flops. They flip too much. So that leaves three people in my house with fourteen pairs of flip-flops. Why? Why? Why?! You can’t wear more than one pair at a … Read more

In seventh grade I read Cat’s Cradle, my first Vonnegut book. I remember standing in front of the class and giving a book report. I played a newsreporter delivering the play-by-play from the book’s closing scene (“a tragedy today, here in the beautiful island of San Lorenzo…”). There was an ad in the back of … Read more

Dyngus Day is finally here! And you know what that means — beware kids sporting pussywillows and water guns. Especially if you live in Buffalo or South Bend. In an almost entirely unrelated development, So-Called Bill was angered by advertising over the weekend, which reminded me of this marketing copy I found on the box … Read more

I took my kids to SFMOMA today for the first time, and they each had a line I feel compelled to share. Sam (6), on Lesende by Gerhard Richter: “I’m just blinking ‘cuz I’m so amazed.” Susannah (9), on A Leaky Ride for Dr. Leakey: “That’s what my imagination looks like.”

I just learned something so wonderful, I felt compelled to use the world wide web to let people know about it. Were you aware that the Monday after Easter is a Polish holiday called “Dyngus Day”? It’s true! Dyngus Day! Pronouced “Dingus Day!” How cool is that?! Dyngus Day involves boys and girls splashing and … Read more

Thought for the day: Trying to write dialogue without first getting a bead on your characters’ motivation is a little like trying to move a car by pulling on its bumper. Oh sure, you can do it. If you’re really strong. At least, some people can do it. But there’s an easier way.

Reflection number 1. It’s just a matter of time before “Happy Feet: The Musical” hits Broadway. So if, like me, your chest starts to constrict at the thought of 100 people tap dancing their hearts out while wearing penguin suits, just consider this fair warning. The time to implant that cyanide capsule in molar #32 … Read more

(It’s not every day that someone asks you to write a short poem about Carl Sandburg.) Carl Sandburg was a dangerous man always creeping around on little cat feet infecting people with TB.