I’m borderline religious about To Do Lists. For example, when I go to bed, I often remind myself that while it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven, it’s easier for a rich man to get into heaven than it is for most individuals to complete three projects with overlapping deadlines on time, unless they have a To Do List to help them prioritize.
So I got to thinking about To Do Lists, and religions, and how some Mormons used to baptize people after they’d passed on. And I thought I could perform a similar service by creating To Do Lists for the dead.
Here’s what I have so far: Richard Burton
Use EVP to star as lovable robot king in upcoming Pixar film.
Possess body of small dog and make it sing songs from Camelot.
Stop haunting Elizabeth Taylor’s underwear.
Richard Nixon
Get Facebook account.
Fill Teddy Kennedy’s shoes with ectoplasm.
Stop haunting Henry Kissinger’s underwear.
Got any you’d like to add? update: a pal just pointed out that Dr. Katz had the exact same idea 7 years ago. Dang you Dr. Katz! Why are you always 7 years ahead of me with everything?!
Sigmund Freud
-Supervise Dr. Melfi on more effective methods of ending therapy relationships
-Leave joke about archetypes on Jung’s MySpace page
-Stop haunting Dr. Phil’s underwear
Veronica Vortex (aka my better half) was talking about doing one for Ken Lay. We figured to do #1 was “get Satan to stop calling me “‘Kenny boy’.”
-Cecil
You don’t believe Ken Lay really died just before going to prison do you? Step 1: Find a hobo of approximately Ken’s height and build. Step 2: Verify the Swiss accts. are up to date. Step 3: Arrange for transportation to Paraguay in cash. I leave the rest to the class as an exercise.
Sigmund Freud
-Supervise Dr. Melfi on more effective methods of ending therapy relationships
-Leave joke about archetypes on Jung’s MySpace page
-Stop haunting Dr. Phil’s underwear
What I’d really like to see is “To-Do Lists of the Damned.”
Veronica Vortex (aka my better half) was talking about doing one for Ken Lay. We figured to do #1 was “get Satan to stop calling me “‘Kenny boy’.”
-Cecil
Or better yet-how about Lee Atwater who started it all…
Janice Joplin
-Posess Madonna’s body and sing a song by Nick Gravenites
-Give Brittney Spears a spirited talk-to
-Stop haunting Tom Waits’ underwear
You don’t believe Ken Lay really died just before going to prison do you? Step 1: Find a hobo of approximately Ken’s height and build. Step 2: Verify the Swiss accts. are up to date. Step 3: Arrange for transportation to Paraguay in cash. I leave the rest to the class as an exercise.