In Defense of Sarah Palin

People say that Sarah Palin was the mayor of a 9,000-person Alaskan town until just a few years ago, and that’s true. But they’re forgetting that Alaskans are like 40 feet tall and covered with hair and they have 20 arms and so really, that’s the equivalent of, um, 171,000 normal people.
And people say that John McCain has only met her twice, even though he had all this time to pick his VP, and what’s up with that? But they’re forgetting that John McCain died 90 years ago in a shipwreck off the coast of Virginia and was found wandering the Arizona desert some 60 years later, and ever since then, he’s had a set of mystic powers including some that are brain powers and, like, ESP and whatnot.
And people say that this is a wildly political move designed to pander to a couple of pieces of the electorate that otherwise wouldn’t fry an egg on John McCain’s hiney at a tanning salon. But those people are weird and that’s kind of a gross image. I mean, come on — yuck.

5 comments for “In Defense of Sarah Palin

  1. heroic imp
    August 30, 2008 at 11:47 am

    doesnt hurt to have a front to at least try to drill for oil in Alaska… had one on 9/11 named cheney to rape apart the middle east

  2. So-Called Bill
    August 31, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    Also, she’s kind of hot, and isn’t that what we’re really looking for in a vice president? I mean, Dick Cheney’s bald virility is all that’s kept this country from exploding into civil war for the last six years.

  3. itto ogami
    August 31, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    if palin didn’t know what the VP did a short while ago, as she said, does she now know? and, was it the ability to shoot friends part that closed the deal for her?
    at least she’s a creationist. now i can sleep at night.

  4. itto ogami
    September 1, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    oh, it gets better: palin was a member of the alaskan independence party…which wants alaska to secede.
    who can blame her/them? if you were 40ft tall, you would want to secede too.
    that’s just awesome.

  5. September 15, 2008 at 8:11 am

    My sources indicate a somewhat different scenario….
    http://www.geocities.com/billectric2/SecretOrigin.html?1221368366078

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