This; And also that

The bliss starts about 45 seconds in. (As an aside, I first discovered this video about 13 years ago, and for a stretch I must have played it 15 times a day. Good times. Good times.)

It’s the year 2007. 2000. 7. I’m calling bull-ass* on that one. * “bull-ass” was my 7-year-old’s best-guess attempt when we asked him if he knew the curse word that started with bull. “Bull-ass?” he said. And oh, how we laughed at his feeble stab at sailor talk. Then we promptly started using the term … Read more

have fallen away. No fennel. No onions any more. No rosemary, no cheese. All these, pulled beneath the surf like Godzilla, turning her scaly back on us, taking our early egg experiments down with her in a foamy splash. It’s Tabasco now, every time. Salt, pepper, chili powder. Basil, fresh when possible. Big old curds. … Read more

The pasta that I had tonight at Pastino’s in Oakland was the worst pasta I have had in my entire life. I am an old man. I have lived 300 years. In all my years, I’ve never had pasta this bad. And make no mistake — I’ve had bad pasta. For about 60 years I … Read more

In case you find yourself in the Island City on November 3rd, be sure to drop by Alameda Literati where I’ll be speaking on not one, not three, but two panels — one on (yes) blogging at 10 am, and the other on scriptwriting at 11 am, which will give me a chance to plug … Read more

I don’t mean to brag, but best I can tell I’m a popular result in Vietnam for “sexy man.” Not everyone can say that. But I’m saying it. I’m saying it right now. And here’s the proof. Ivan sez: “So sorry, Mr. George Clooney. You are #2 this day!”

I liked SCB’s suggestion in the comments that I get an HBO special entitled “Uncorked.” I’m thinking I could carve out a niche as “the guy who complains about his small town with specifics no one outside of that town can understand.” “What is the deal with all those ‘no left turn’ signs on Park? … Read more

I flipped someone the bird today. I haven’t done that for a lot of years. It didn’t feel that great, but now that I’ve done it, I can’t seem to stop. We live in a pretty small town. Slowing down to look for a parking spot, I put my left hand out the window and … Read more

I’m borderline religious about To Do Lists. For example, when I go to bed, I often remind myself that while it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven, it’s easier for a rich man to get into heaven than … Read more

I’ve been trying a little witnessed consciousness of late, hoping to get a better handle on that age-old question, “Daddy, where do jokes come from?” What I discovered surprised me. This isn’t true every time, but a lot of the time, right before I make a joke, it turns out that there’s this moment when … Read more