This; And also that

Feeling lucky, he realized, about two minutes too late, was not the same as being lucky.

Thinking a lot lately about the time of legends. Not as far back as dragons or unicorns. Or even King Arthur. I’ve been reading up on that not-so-distant moment in our American history when a band of Famous Artists put out the word that they were looking for people who enjoyed drawing. Can you imagine … Read more

I was talking with a pal about how my 10-year-old daughter would still like to be 8 years old, and my pal said “You know, a little part of all of us is still 8 years old.” And it’s really true. For example, thanks to these skin lotions I’ve been using for the last 32 … Read more

I bought a new wallet last weekend and this time I’m gonna get it right. I think I must be 0-6 on wallets over the past two decades. Each one, destroyed by me stuffing it full of receipts. No more. I say those who don’t study history, with regard to their wallets, are doomed to … Read more

It’s not a small thing, to beat the Clintons in a Democractic primary. In so many ways, it’s as shocking as beating a sitting president in a primary, something that’s so hard to do, Teddy couldn’t pull it off with all the Kennedy glory and resources on his side, against a sad-sack Jimmy Carter. It’s … Read more

I watched The Passion of the Christ the other night. I’m Jewish and I’ve had this itch to see it and judge for myself whether it was anti-semitic. Sure enough, most of the non-pre-Christian Jews in the movie are weasels. But then about a third of the way through, we meet the Roman guards. And … Read more

This past weekend I was at a “family camp” near Yosemite. My wife and I bunked with another couple. A delightful couple. The woman lent us bug juice. Can you imagine that? A complete stranger. “My bug juice is your bug juice!” She had such a charming accent. The guy snored like Thor trying to … Read more

Disturbing news from the child front. My two lovely, sweet, and yes, borderline angelic children sang me a pair of gruesome songs tonight, both of which ended with Barney the purple dinosaur considerably worse for the wear. “What the –?” I stammered. “Who taught you those horrible songs?” “Everybody sings about killing Barney nowadays,” said … Read more

Look, I don’t mind that there’s all this coverage of the Pope in the news. The Pope comes to America. It’s a big deal. I get it. But it cheeses me off when scientists discover a 15-foot rabbi and nobody seems to give a damn. Rabbi Arthur Rosenberg, of Holmdel New Jersey, is huge.

I just saw the most disgusting thing on CNN. Wolf Blitzer says to his guest, “May I pick your brain for a moment?” And the guest says, “Sure.” I’m sorry — I just got up and turned off the TV. Wolf Blitzer is a creepy creepy guy.