February 2008 Archives

You probably can't tell from this blog, but I'm an exceptionally accomplished fellow. For example: I once taught a family of gerbils how to sign "hello" and "nice to see you." I can hold my breath for three hours. From 1983 to 1987, everything I said or thought rhymed with "cantaloupe." Nice bar of soap. I like the pope. Someone should write a book called "The Audacity of Hope."

It was a difficult time for my family.

Still, even I was surprised to learn of my latest accomplishment. It turns out I'm the creator of the world's top-ranking Google result for the search phrase want to smell something wonderful.

When something like that happens to you, you just, you know you look back on your life so far -- that dusty road leading up to the here and now, and you say, "Yeah. Time well spent."

What about you? Accomplish anything extraordinary of late?

Some people, like Hillary Clinton and my 7-year-old son, have been hammering home this "Don't Mess with Texas" message. In the case of Hillary, it's one of her slogans for the March 4th primary. With my son, it's on this t-shirt he likes to wear.

And I'm sorry, but I enjoy messing with Texas. I do. And I don't care what Hillary or Power Vortex say -- I don't intend to stop.

For example, sometimes I move Texas' seat a few inches away from where they think it is. Not so much that they fall. But just enough so they go "Whoa!" and they have to readjust themselves. And they're looking around, thinking, "Who did that? Who's messing with me?"

Or I tell Oklahoma that Texas said something mean about them, when really they didn't.

Or if Texas is shooting pool, I walk up quietly behind them and tug on their pool cue right as they're lining up their shot. They hate that!

Got any ways you like to mess with Tee Ex?

Update: Reader James in the comments gently points out that those McSweeney bastards got to this watering hole first. I guess it's true what they say about an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters taking it to Texas in similar fashion, where time is expressed as T and "ways Texas can be messed with" is expressed as M or perhaps (M Over Tx).

Update to update: After a little reflection, I've decided that this is a sign I should redirect my energies. Instead of "messing with Texas," I'm now going to "screw with Delaware."

today's a good day
to introduce them
to "Bicycle Race" by Queen.

On your mark, get set, go.....

Hi,
This one's narrowcast to my fellow Bay Areans. Just wanted to share the fun fact that my daughter (aka Shonny Vortex) is making her big-time stage debut this very weekend in Virago Theatre Company's staging of Candide, with music by Leonard "don't call me Spock" Bernstein and lyrics by (among others) Dorothy Parker, Lillian Hellman, and Stephen "don't call me Spock either" Sondheim.

This is an actual grown up performance. The New York Times described Bernstein's score as "shimmering" and claims that Shonny's performance is likely to be "the greatest stage appearance of the new century." I think they're overhyping it, but who's gonna argue with the New York Times?

Special Twofer Deal
The show opens this coming Friday, and they're offering a crazy two-for-one deal on advance tix for the first weekend -- two tickets for the low price of just $20. You can secure that snazzy deal by calling 510-865-6237 or by dropping me an email....

Days and Times: Friday February 22nd, 8pm, Sat February 23rd, 8pm, Sunday February 24th, 7pm.

The show runs from Feb 22 through to March 9th. For more information: click away.

-Cecil

I keep hearing the pundits say that the Clinton campaign built their strategy around one result -- a clear victory on Super Tuesday. Then they read these great quotes from the candidate, like this one from back on December 30th: "I'm in it for the long run. It's not a very long run. It'll be over by February 5th." But of course, that's not how things played out, and Clinton and co. has seemed to be floundering -- bouncing from message to message -- ever since.

That is to say, the Clinton camp went into their big battle -- a battle they could see coming months in advance -- without a concrete Plan B, without giving serious strategic thought to the possibility that reality might offer up anything less than mission accomplished. Things didn't break the way they'd hoped. And ever since then, chaos.

Does any of this ring a bell...?

That's what this lady at the table next to mine just asked her gentleman friend.

"Yes! Dear lord yes!" I want to shout.

I'm drinking vanilla mighty leaf tonight.
The most macho tea.

Tough guys smell this brew they
back down. They should back down.
It makes me French with rage. Like some
French Bruce Banner. "Petite l'hommes!
Je crushez vous!"

Up on those shoulders. Over that soft tummy, the gray-haired chest slopping in.
Sitting up there, hands clutched together in clumps of see-through white.

He walks you around the edge of the lake. It feel so light up there on those shoulders,
Falling would just mean floating, then landing, then hopping back up.
And a rare smile from grandpa at the sight of the bouncing boy.

But you can't see that smile parked up on there on his shoulders.
You can't see his face, in fact.
You're looking forward, you're breathing in his cherry tobacco hum.

You're grandpa's face today. He's got a happy five-year-old's face.
You're giving that to him.
He's giving you lift.

Regular readers of this Extreme Punditry series have probably figured out by now that I'm about as good an election-predictor as my cat Sammy is an umbrella. Which is to say, not very.

Even so, even with my poor track record at this whole election-predicting thing, I'm ready to wander out on that limb one more time and herewith predict that Cecil Vortex will go 100% for...Barack Obama! (Just my luck, Mitt will now come through with an upset.)

In terms of the other gazillion folks voting today, it feels like McCain will have a great day, with the possible exception of a California upset for Romney. Clinton will win several more states than Obama, but only a few more delegates. I'm going to say, um, a 53%/47% delegate swing in Clinton's favor. Slight edge for Clinton in the press spin. And the race goes on.

Any other predictions out there?
-Cecil

Photo credit: Jefferson Pitcher.

Keri Smith is an author/illustrator turned guerilla artist. She is the author and illustrator of several activity books aimed at jump-starting creativity, including Wreck This Journal (2007, Penguin Books), The Guerilla Art Kit (2007, Princeton Architectural Press), Living Out Loud (2003, Chronicle Books), and Tear Up This Book!: The Sticker, Stencil, Stationery, Games, Crafts, Doodle, And Journal Book For Girls! (2005, American Girl).

As a freelance illustrator she's worked for a variety of clients, including Random House, the Washington Post, the New York Times, Ford Motor Co., the Boston Globe, and Hallmark. In the last few years she's lectured and run workshops on the topic of living creatively for the HOW Design Conference, U.C. Davis, and schools across North America.

Keri Smith on the Web: Keri Smith.com, The Wish Jar

Cecil Vortex: What got you started making creativity books?

Keri Smith: I've been trying to figure this out for myself. For some reason I cannot stop making activity books based on the subject of creativity. I seem to be obsessed with it, even though I will admit that I get tired of talking about it directly and would rather just have people do something (as opposed to talking about doing something) -- a conundrum for an author, yes?

I can tell you a few things that I know about it in list form (just because I like lists):

1. My medium is most definitely books. I have been obsessed with books my whole life and worked in bookstores for years. As a child I had a favorite activity book (called Good Times) that I think had a lot to do with forming my creative brain.
2. I love the idea of creating books that give people more of a direct experience with life instead of walking through it passively. Get up out of your chair and take a look at things around you for crying out loud! Turn off the TV and use your brain cells before they deteriorate completely! There is no time to waste. Aren't we all just aching for a bit of adventure? It's all there in various forms. It's just about a conscious decision to "tune in." My books are just a little reminder of why and how to do this (for myself too).
3. I am drawn to experimenting (in various forms). My favorite artists and authors are often those who are "playing," trying things, not necessarily succeeding at them, but seeing where an idea takes you. This concept of play comes up constantly for me and is in large part the foundation for all of my work. To truly conduct an experiment, you must not know where you are headed. It can be scary at times, but that fear is what excites me about it. What happens when I try "this"? A direct confrontation with the UNKNOWN. It is such a great metaphor for life because none of us truly know where we are headed. We can try to control it but at a deep level we aren't ever really in control.
4. My family life growing up was not about taking risks (make sure you have all your bases covered, don't attempt things unless you know what the outcome will be, take the safe route). I think in part my life/creative work is a form of rebellion against this and about choosing to do the opposite in a given situation to see what happens. I had to learn to trust in my ability to deal with whatever comes up in the moment. And guess what? You really can deal with "whatever comes up." You are much stronger and more creative than you think. But you have to jump off a cliff all the time to figure that out. Every time I do, I learn how amazing a feeling it is. There is nothing that can hurt you in this. Fear of taking risks is a fear of living.
5. For a while now I have enjoyed working with the concepts of imperfection and impermanence (the Japanese refer to it as wabi-sabi). I think this concept is quite rare in Western culture, which seems obsessed with making things as perfect as possible -- technology, bodies (plastic surgery), mechanization of life, etc.

So I see the books as another way to present the idea of embracing imperfections and actually incorporating them into your process (Wreck This Journal is a good example of this). I guess what I am saying here is that books are a way to share my philosophies and get some different ideas out into the culture at large. At some level I enjoy the thought of taking ideas from some slightly edgier artists and thinkers and incorporating them into my work so that a new audience can experience them.

CV: Can you talk a little bit more about play and how that shows up in your creative process?