True overheard dialog from actual third graders:

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• Sandy Weakness | June 12, 2007 6:56 PM | Reply

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  When I was a lad, no one had catchphrases of their own. We shared or we cobbled something together out of scraps.

• Jefferson Greenberg | June 13, 2007 12:10 AM | Reply

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  When I was a kid, I'd try to come up with catchphrases that people would clap and applaud to whenever I said them. Unfortunately, most of the cool ones I thought up got "appropriated" (read: stolen) by shifty Hollywood writers, who then put them on TV, and then got rich by doing so, because the catchphrases were so great that the shows got more popular and therefore brought in more ad revenue. In short: I got boned.

  Anyway, here are the first catchphrases I thought up, way back in elementary school:

  1) DY-NO-MITE! (said in exclamatory fashion when happy)

  2) Sit on it! (said as a putdown or retort when annoyed)

  3) Watchoo talkin' bout Willis? (asked when not comprehending a matter at hand)

  4) Book 'em Dano (said when a felon has been apprehended, signalling they should be taken to police headquarters and formally charged and processed)

• J.H. Verde | June 13, 2007 12:20 AM | Reply

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  To the poster above: They "clapped and applauded"? Both? No wonder people stole your stuff. You're a moron.

• Jefferson Greenberg | June 13, 2007 12:26 AM | Reply

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  Oh I forgot one.

  5) Where's the beef? (asked when someone has said something non-substantive, or when handed confronted with a hamburger with a pathetically small meat patty inside)

  To J.H. Verde: Sorry I made a mistake on the Internet. Here's a thought: Sit on it! LOL

• Sandy Weakness | June 13, 2007 8:38 AM | Reply

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  Most impressive, Jefferson. I had the use of just one. "Viv" Savage and I found it in the vacant lot out behind the vacant lot. "Have a good time, as much as is possible given the self-esteem issues" sufficed for us for a good long while.

• Gunther von Quassel | June 13, 2007 11:27 AM | Reply

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  I could sit here and listen to Jeff argue with himself all day long.

• Cecil Vortex | June 13, 2007 11:33 AM | Reply

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  (for anyone puzzled by this whole exchange, let me just say, JHV and JG above appear to be one and the same insane person. We're trying to figure out who the proper authorities might be so we can notify them. Animal control?)
  -Cecil