Virtual LP: Wallabees Are Back

A crazy long time ago, one of my brothers gave me lyrics to a song about Clark-brand Wallabees. Wallabees were the preferred shoe-wear of Vortices in the ’70s. Their return to the scene had upset him. I set those words to music and got a vocal assist by so-called Shonny Vortex. Herewith, the results, recorded in 2010 and finally seeing the light of blog.

time: 1:04 seconds; specs: 1.5M
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Virtual LP: Over You

It’s been a little bit since the last addition to the virtual lp. This one is a cover of an obscure-ish velvet underground song, featuring Ira Vortex on bass, and Shonny Vortex helping out with back up vocals. Recorded last weekend and then produced in a few layers, with mebbe 19 guitars added over time plus a few quiet keys. Crispy Bacon (fellow member of the Reuben Kincaid) was away last weekend and is missed and there in spirit, but perhaps we can rope him into a version two…

Nice to be back in the recording saddle, I say. Giddy yap!

time: 2:19 seconds; specs: 4.8M
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Virtual LP: Single-Cell Critter & The Reuben Kincaid

A little twist in the ongoing Virtual LP story this week. After a few years of recording fun, including collaborations with swell folks like Yaniv Soha, Jake Vortex and the notorious eb, MC DD von H, Shonny Vortex, Power Vortex, and others, I’ve gone and joined a band.

We’ve been messing around with various tunes, including a few of the tracks on this site, some new ones, and the occasional cover. (We’ve playing “I’m in Love with a Girl” recently and I’m hoping we get to record that soon.)

We’ve been calling ourselves “The Reuben Kincaid,” a name uke-master Christian Crumlish came up with about 15 years ago, and a few of us fell for in a “boy, if we ever have a band…” kinda way. So really, TRK has existed in that “if we ever have a band” part of our minds since the mid-90s

In addition to uke-master Crumlish, TRK features “So-Called Bill” Cassel on bass, Ryan “don’t call me Bryan” Short on bongos, and me on guitar and sometimes keys.

Here’s our very first track, a tune called “Single Cell Critter” that just may be the angriest song about a sea full of bacon ever written.
time: 2:09 seconds; specs: 5.2M
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Virtual LP: I Cook It 2 It

Here’s another track for Der Virtual LP in a blatant attempt to capitalize on the recent media frenzy surrounding Ira and my cover of “Welcome to the Working Week.”
This one’s called “I Cook It 2 It” and it’s, well, it’s sort of a hippity hop version of a recent blog post about me cooking.
Wearing a chef’s hat when I do it,
time: 1:10 seconds; specs: 1.6M
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Virtual LP: Welcome to the Working Week

Here’s the latest addition to the Der Virtual LP. Ira Vortex (better known to some as so-called “So-Called Bill”) and I have started playing tunes of late. Mostly originals, including a few chestnuts from the VLP, but also a few covers. This ‘uns our first recorded venture, with Ira on bass as well as co-producing — it’s sorta of a jazzy hepster-ish version of Elvis Costello’s ode to spending money and getting so convinced.
In related news, Ira and I have also joined forces with the infamous Xian and the soon-to-be-infamous Ryan to forge a fearsome four-piece called “The Reuben Kincaid.” Watch this space for TRK tracks TK.
Waiting for your family’s big day to arrive,
time: 2:15 seconds; specs: 3.1M
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Virtual LP: Tin and Crumbs

Here’s a new addition to the Virtual LP, written and recorded this morning. It’s a true story, almost. “No incantations will bring back the pie” indeed.
I should probably be clear that I’m not really that upset about the missing piece of pumpkin pie. I mean, I like pumpkin pie. But mostly I just wanted to see if I could write the world’s angriest song about a missing slice. Sort of like, what would happen if you took the last piece of pumpkin pie from Dick Cheney, and he started to sing about it….
Eat hearty,
time: :49 seconds; specs: 1.1M
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Virtual LP: Time After Time

I’ve fallen back in love with the piano. In particular, I can’t stop playing one of my very favorite songs — “Time After Time” by the unbeatable Cahn and Styne. Holy cow could those fellows write a tune. There are incredible versions of this out there by the likes of Sinatra and Chet Baker. A personal favorite is by Alex Chilton, off Cliches (highly recommended).
I took a crack at recording a cover of this beautiful song this evening. As with pretty much all the tracks on the Virtual LP, this is a relatively short number — a smidge over 60 seconds. Just piano and vocals. I even resisted my usual urge to overtreat the voice. A fun Sunday night project. The house was warm, the way houses get when it’s snowing outside. Only, no snow…. Hope you enjoy it, and thanks for listening,
time: 1:06 seconds; specs: 1.6M
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Virtual LP: Lullaby

Here’s a sleepy little tune-let to add to the Virtual LP. I’ve been messing around with these changes for a few days now and wanted to see tonight whether I could get a few takes recorded around the margins of a work eve.
One program note: following Shonny Vortex’s recent vocal debut, Lullaby marks the Virtual LP premiere for Power Vortex, here on backup vocals. He did in two takes. Quite the pro, that Power.
Thanks for listening and nighty night,
update: new version uploaded Saturday with a vocal fix, guitar, and a rousing coda.
time: 1:29 seconds; specs: 1.3M
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Virtual LP: Mind Was Wandering

Here’s the latest in the ongoing project the cognoscenti likes to call the Virtual LP. I love the cognoscenti. I just can’t let myself get too attached. You know how they are.
This tune marks the “World Wide Web” debut of Shonny Vortex, who turns in a, I’ll say it, stellar performance on backup vocals. The song’s about a true fact — 7 coats I had, 7 coats I lost. I’ve literally had and lost around 7 coats over the last stretch while My Mind Was Wandering. A maddening thought, one I could only quiet by, you know, setting it to music. Thanks for listening. May all your coats come home.
time: 1:01 seconds; specs: 950K
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When I first put my real name up here on the site about three weeks ago, I thought to myself (largely in the second person) “Not to worry, So-Called ‘Cecil.’ It’ll be years before you feel the urge to post something that in substance or by way of word choice might leave you later thinking, ‘Perhaps this isn’t the sort thing I’d necessarily want associated with my name for the rest of my life.'”
Turns out I was off by roughly X, where X = [years minus three weeks].
Here’s the latest addition to the Virtual LP. You’ve been warned. Therefore you can’t say, really, that I didn’t warn you.
time: 1:08 seconds; specs: 1.6 MB
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Everybody Wants to Be a Cat

Once again it’s been a while since my last track on the virtual lp. I’ve started playing piano again of late. Not sure what’s triggered it, but it’s fun. Here’s a mimosa toast to piano, on this Saturday morn.
Specifically, my daughter brought home a great Disney songbook, which led to this here mini-cover of “Everybody Wants to Be a Cat” from Disney’s immortal Aristocats. (Not to be confused with more recent and slightly more mortal flick entitled The Aristocrats, particularly on family movie night.)
Thanks for listening…..
time: 1:35 seconds; specs: 2.1 MB
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note: updated from Saturday’s initial version.

Virtual LP: Accretion

Like a lot of kids, I grew up dreaming that one day I’d write a song about “accretion” (defined by Merriam-Webster’s as “increase by external addition or accumulation, as by adhesion of external parts or particles”).
No, I was told. No, that wouldn’t happen. Couldn’t happen. They didn’t say it shouldn’t happen. Or bloudn’t happen. But they might as well have.
Well guess what? Dreams really can come true. Assuming your dreams relate to writing a song about accretion. Take that, naysayers!
This latest addition to the Virtual LP features vocals, keys, ‘n drums. It’s partly influenced by my absolute favoritist record of the last few months — Harry Nilsson’s extraordinary Nilsson Sings Newman, from 1970. Holy cow does that record have fantastic harmonies. I can’t claim to match, but it did inspire me to close this track out with a few waa-oh’s and ooh la la’s.
Thanks for listening,
time: 1:44 seconds; specs: 1.6 mb
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Tapping stubbed toes ‘neath a (Gibbous Moon)

Over the last few weeks I’ve begun tripping and cursing and toe-stubbing my way around the magical world of midi recording. The neatest thing so far has been seeing how easy it is go from playing a piece to printing out the score of what you just played. Crazy neat, in fact.
Much less neat has been the crackling I keep hearing coming from my headphones when I try to load more than one instrument in my brand new “Plug Sound Pro” soft synth. Or perhaps it’s not the soft synth that’s crackling and it’s just that my head’s on fire?
Anyways, here’s the first result of all that toe-stubbing and crackling — a Plug Sound Pro-free orchestral number that’s the first instrumental on the old Virtual LP since Double Agent of Love, hit the charts in mainland China back in the summer of ’04. This one’s called (Gibbous Moon) because I like song titles with parentheticals. And I like the word “gibbous.”
Keep on rocking (in the gibbous world),
time: 1:02 seconds; specs: (Less than) 1 mb
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It’s been about three months since I posted a new song to the ole Virtual LP — the last number being Welcome to Your (Doom of Clowns).
Happily, I found a little time this past weekend to record a tune I’d written a year or three back. The song’s called Styrofoam and it features lead vocals by the notorious Xian who did, I think, a rockin’ job.
Thanks for listening and hope ya enjoy the results.
time: 2:09 seconds; specs: 2 mb (yes, incredibly — another 2+ minute long song!)
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Welcome to Your (Doom of Clowns)

Earlier in the month I promised to deliver this here clown song, based on a line gifted to me by my son. “Welcome to your doom of clowns,” he said. Really.
Until a few days ago I thought this was an acoustic number — a vaguely Robert-Frippy 2/3 (or is it 4/6?) song about clowns. That was until I got some drum software (Fruity Loops — highly recommended). And then my electric guitar came back from the shop. I hadn’t played it in ages and — well, you know how that goes.
So…the song is still about clowns. But acoustic, not so much. I’m hoping to get around to recording the acoustic version one of these days soon, but until then, please: play it loud.
time: 1:59 seconds; specs: 1.9 mb (creeping toward two full minutes I am….)
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Update: The original vocal track was kinda messy and driving me nuts, so I replaced it this morn. New cleaned up version now posted, as of 10:22 am PST….

A Thing I Like to Do

It’s been a little while since I’ve written a new song, but I’ve been playing a bit more of late and — hey presto — two ditties appear. Fun to get back to recording after a little break. Today’s tune is A Thing I Like to Do, the musical version of a post from a few weeks ago, now with vocals, keyboards, and a light dusting of guitar. It’s unusual among the original tunes on my virtual lp in that it’s nearly two (2!) minutes long.
Coming pretty soon: “Welcome to Your Doom of Clowns,” based on a line my 6-year-old delivered a few months back — a line I realized just this past week is one of the best song titles I’m ever gonna run into.
time: 1:53 seconds; specs: 1.7 mb
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